Tuesday, 30 April 2019

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Z is for Zigzags

Today on my A to Z of Nanowrimo, I'm writing Z is for Zigzags. Yes, I am really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. There is a very limited choice for Z but I think I have chosen a word that sums up how I feel on 30th November. It's similar to how I feel on 30th April, after completing two separate A to Z Blogging Challenges. 

a to z blogging challenge 2019

Z for zigzags symbolises the stage you get to when you're writing where you're so completely exhausted that you don't even know if you're writing actual words any more, or if you're just writing zigzags. It's also the stage where you're so fed up and that don't want to write real words, so you plump up the page with zigzags.

I have this memory of being a really small child, I mean tiny, like maybe two or three years old and somebody else my age said they were writing a letter somewhere. And all they wrote was zigzags and I thought, "Wow, is that actually writing? What does it mean?" That's sometimes how I feel when I'm writing a story that I'm hoping to eventually publish. Like I'm writing zigzags and everyone else is writing genuine words. And there are people around me thinking that I'm doing something amazing and praising me, but I'm just sitting over there with my page full of zigzags with impostor syndrome, wondering why I ever thought I could write.

nanowrimo zigzags

So, that brings me to the end of the A to Z Challenge and you know, I feel like I just wrote a page of metaphorical zigzags. I'm just padding things out now because I am so bloody tired and I overstretched myself this month. Now, I'm going to log off and do my last assignment of the year. Tomorrow, I'll reflect on my challenges. Perhaps I'll make a resolution to do a bit of Nanowrimo planning in preparation for November. Around October I'll start reading through these A to Z posts and imagine that I wasn't so tired and I think back to April with affection and nostalgia. Maybe I'll look at the A to Z of my Wish List posts over on Rock Paper Spirit and resolve to start ticking off those items, one by one. And as I do so, I'll link to those posts. 

Or maybe I'll just work on this business venture, and who knows? Maybe next April I'll be too busy with my company to do another A to Z Blogging Challenge! But if I'm not, you'll probably find me here, or on one of my other blogs, writing an A to Z of something.

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