Thursday, 22 June 2017

Lacey's Diary - June 22nd 2017

This last week has not been my favourite. I decided that all the items on my 40 Before 40 list would be so much easier to tackle if I wasn't in pain so I devised a plan. That plan involved acupuncture, which I've had before with great success. This was not to be a repeat of that time though.

I visited a "clinic" in Glasgow. I use that word loosely because it was so dingy and unprofessional that I knew right away I had made a mistake. This is going to sound nuts but I went through with it because I noticed a black cat image on a cushion in the room and I thought everything would be ok. No matter how the acupuncture went, everything was going to be fine.

I don't know what they did to me, but I must be the only person in the world who now has an acupuncture horror story. This is not the right treatment for me. I've been in so much pain since that visit. I could hardly walk last weekend. I not only had pain in my leg hip but it had moved to my whole pelvic area, my abdomen, my left foot and the burning in my left thigh was unreal.

It took a few days for me to decide that it wasn't going to magically heal. It wasn't a temporary side effect. So I went back to square one, and back to the guy I initially saw who took just a few minutes to tell me there was a problem with the area around my coccyx. So, I've purchased a coccyx cushion. I'm not sure if I am going back to that guy. I think so but I do wonder if he will be willing to see me again. The happiest I've ever seen him was when he thought I was never coming back. I don't know. I'll go with my gut. I'm just a bit fragile right now and taking a new approach resulted in the pain worsening. I don't know how I can face starting again. Maybe when I'm less sore.

On a happier note, I've decided to cut out sugar from my diet to tackle the inflammation which has resulted in the happy side-effect of weight loss. Not that I need to lose much with a BMI of 21 but, you know, losing excess fat is always good. I'm eating sweet fruits but no chocolate, no fudge, no sugar-laden drinks and no ice-cream. Honestly, you might think that's not a lot but I think about 50% of my calories in the last 6 years has been sourced from junk foods like chocolate and ice-cream. 

It started during my post-natal depression and I didn't get it under control because I never got the depression under control. It feels so good to admit that! I think I've had post-natal depression for 6 years and haven't addressed it, not because I didn't want to but because when I sought help after Luke was born, nobody would take me seriously. Doctors brushed me off, health visitors ignored me and the mum's group I went to only kept me away from the ledge. The way I've been dealing with it is through writing. And I've been very lucky because my books have been successful (in their own way). I wonder how things would have panned out had they been huge failures?

For now, I'm not actively trying to conquer any of the items on the 40 Before 40 list. I think the healthiest thing I could do right now is address the chronic pain, both physical and emotional. Wear comfortable (but still pretty) clothes. Eat well. Drink plenty of fruit teas. And take naps. I'm writing fiction when possible and have cut back my freelance work so it's only OxGadgets I'm working on right now. No more French rap music reviews, no more mystery shopping, no more focus groups and no pressure on myself to make money.

How is everyone else doing?
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